There’s more than enough success and happiness to go around.


Sometimes I find myself thinking that I can’t do something because there are already too many people doing it. Those people have been doing it for longer and they are good at it. I can’t compete with them. Self-doubt creeps in. Am I even good enough? Am I smart enough? Am I dedicated enough? Or sometimes I come up with even more specific reasons for why I can’t do it. I have a specialized degree, I need to focus on that field alone. I have small children, I need to make sure that I am reserving enough time for them. If I work too much/do this too will I be able to contribute to the household like I want to be able to?

These are all examples of toxic thoughts. They’re aren’t super crazy so my mind sometimes says “yeah, you’re probably right” or “that does make sense, good thing you thought of that”. Toxic thoughts aren’t always overtly negative sometimes they are rational in disguise. However, that thing that I want to pursue…it keeps creeping in and my optimism says to me “why do you talk to yourself like that?” or “those things are true but you can still do that”.

Real confidence is knowing that you believe in what you want and think regardless of what others want or think. It sounds something like “I’ll be fine if they don’t like me” -vs- “they will like me”. Both self-statements sound similar but the second one subconsciously relies on the validity of others. If we were truly honest with ourselves we would admit that a lot of what holds us back- why we think those toxic thoughts is because how dare we step out if line- how dare we do something other than what we are “supposed to be doing” and most of that judgment comes from others or judging ourselves based on the expectations of others. Its not their fault and its not our either. Blame is not required here. What is required is faith and the ability to recognize our thoughts and then to shift them to align with our true potential.

The question is- How do I become more confident?

  • Try something new.
    • If you don’t know how to do it teach yourself how to or have someone teach you. There is so much “free information” out that that no one really has any excuses for why they don’t know how to do something (aside from a learning or physical disability).
  • Practice positive affirmations daily-
    • I am learning and growing every day.
    • I recognize my true value.
    • I am grateful to be receiving.
    • I am valuable.
    • I am progressing.
    • I make wise choices.
    • I am forgiving of my faults.
  • Implement a schedule that allows you ample time to focus on your goal. Stop telling yourself that you are too busy- we make time for what we want.
  • Get a mentor, coach, therapist, person who inspires you.
    • GUESS WHAT?!? There are so many people on Facebook and Instagram who are doing what you want to do and who are willing and readily offer advise as to how you can do it to. Research these people and follow those who you feel drawn to.-Block out jealously and judgment and allow only the ability to be inspired and to appreciate what they are doing- this opens you to receive the information and to be able to recognize how you can apply it. COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY- IT’S A REAL HATER AND YOU DON’T NEED THAT JUNK IN YOUR LIFE!

MONDAY MANTRA: I have the ability to shift my thoughts. I am the master of my thoughts. I am receiving all that i desire.


*close your eyes, breathe in your nose (to the count of four) and then out your mouth (to the count of four) and say to yourself: Even though I am struggling I completely and totally accept myself. Repeat this three times.

Sometimes a well planned for Monday becomes a Wednesday.

We set out with good intentions- wanting to develop patterns and habits sometimes for the purpose of shaping or maintaining dare I say “a life well lived”. Maybe these are beliefs that we hold true for ourselves- like if I am to be professional and create a business that is successful I will develop a schedule which includes meditation, reading, blogging, exercise (cause healthy body=healthy mind), networking, researching and so on and so on. We do this for our professional lives and our personal lives. We probably do it more often now-a-days with social media working ever so hard to convince or remind us of what our life should look like.

What should our lives look like? Well I do believe that they should be in order and include some schedule and routine BUT sometimes today really does become tomorrow and its well-intentioned and that is ok! Unlike the phrase “don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today”…… whoops. Well now that Im in tomorrow instead of today it has me thinking that its ok. Its ok that I didn’t write this blog post on Monday when I did in fact have the time- I mean who am I kidding? I have time, you have time, we all have time. We like to tell ourselves and most often other people- so they know how busy we are- that we just don’t have the time or that we are tired. But the truth is that our life is a collection of what we have created, what we feel and what we think. If we think we are busy and that life is just so hard! Then wahla!

It is time that we stop allowing ourselves to think that we are too busy to get things done or too busy to relax or too busy to meet up with a friend or to start a blog or invest in a business or go for a walk or volunteer or apply to a new job or go to college and the list goes on and on and on then….wahla! Sometimes if you want something- get it/do it applies and sometimes its ok to do it tomorrow but stop telling yourself (and others) that its because you didn’t have time. You chose!

MONDAY (yes its Wednesday) MANTRA: I have the ability to create my life and I take responsibility for my time and my choices.


*close your eyes, breathe in your nose (to the count of four) and then out your mouth (to the count of four) and say to yourself: Even though I am struggling I completely and totally accept myself. Repeat this three times.

Not Your Average Monday

People are generally open to trying new things.



Most people who I interact with have either been through substantial change or are going through substantial change. I was tempted to change that sentence to read “everyone” instead of “most” however, I don’t interact with everyone in a way that allows me to be sure of the validity of the first sentence. As a licensed counselor, I like to think of myself as a change-agent. I also pride myself on being receptive and welcoming to change. That’s one of the factors that helps me to be able to successfully assist others through their change.

Adaptation. This is what sets those who do handle change apart from those who do not. Are you able to adapt to the challenges that life presents? The reality is that there will most certainly be change in your life but can you or should I say will you adapt? You can adapt and you probably, if you think long and hard, have some pretty good ideas of what to do to help yourself. Some of those ideas might sound like “I should really take a vacation” or “I should get a massage” or “I should sort through my things and donate what is unneeded” (clutter adds stress, but that’s a whole ‘nother post on its own) or “I should really talk to her about boundaries” and the list goes on and on and on. The truth is that most people really do have a good idea about what they should be doing to care for themselves.

Application. The willingness to follow through on what you know you need to do to care for yourself is the next step. That thought that keeps playing in your mind of what you should do for self-care…yea…you know what it is. Do it. Decide now that you will give yourself three days to schedule that massage or set a date to talk to that someone about some good ole’ boundaries. But if you really aren’t sure what to do for self-care ask a trusted friend or loved one. Support is crucial. Learning to or letting people care for us is not always easy but it is a part of the master plan.

What’s this master plan I speak of? Well as humans we are relational beings. We sometimes, every once in a while, ok so more often than not…we kind of stink at it but we know we need one another and we thrive off of connection. If you don’t have a sturdy someone special in your life research a good therapist (wink, wink- that would be me) and schedule some time to connect with someone who can help you to create some space in your life where you are able to adjust to change and the challenges of life.



*close your eyes, breathe in your nose (to the count of four) and then out your mouth (to the count of four) and say to yourself: Even though I am struggling I completely and totally accept myself. Repeat this three times.