Most people at one time or another have felt deeply unsatisfied with their life aka unhappy. I know I have. When I have I wallow in self-pity. I think to myself that I do have or I can’t get what other people have. I blame certain personality characteristics. I am too introverted, I think too much (get in my own way), or I don’t think enough about what really matters. Sometimes I blame other factors. I don’t know the right people, I don’t have opportunities to mingle with the right crowd, I don’t have the right degree or the correct experience. Sometimes I even play the gender card or the mom card. Occasionally I can’t even figure out what the heck it is that I even want AND my mind just sucks right on to whatever it is that I focus on.
With the above negative stream of thoughts, I get further and further away from my full potential and even my truth (beliefs and desires). If like attracts like than focusing on what I do not have only attracts more of what I do not have. There’s that phrase: “everything you need is already within you”. That confuses me. Except when I am aligned with my potential and my truth. What I need is grace, forgiveness, guidance and faith. Grace allows me to believe in myself and in the truth that I was made for good- my abilities are within me if I have the courage to recognize them. Forgiveness allows me to try again and most importantly to acknowledge that I am human so I am flawed. Guidance allows me to spend time with myself sorting through my thoughts and prioritizing my emotions and choosing how I will structure my life. Even more importantly when I spend time with myself I am also able to consider those in my life who truly add value. Faith allows me to trust and believe that I am loved and cared for beyond measure and that because of this I am destined for goodness.
When I am centered I have the strength to be grateful and to spend time in gratitude. Spending time with yourself means getting rid of whatever it is that you are allowing to occupy your time so that you don’t have to face yourself. So that you don’t have to sort through your thoughts and acknowledge how you really feel. If you did that then you either wouldn’t know what to do next or you wouldn’t like what you’re guided to do. I believe that the more we spend time with ourselves the less we rely on others or things to fulfill our needs. So many people struggle to be deeply connected to others including their partner. Most of that is due to them not knowing their true needs and living in unfulfilled potential.
Confusion. Deception. Fear.
I encourage you to take some time for yourself with yourself. Just start by going to a quiet place with a notebook. Write down some of your thoughts. Recognize the category of these thoughts: stress, loss, fear, gratitude, ambition…. Then if you are in a place of lack identify what you would like to feel or think instead. Write that down. Generate a feeling. Here’s an example of how to do this: Close your eyes and bring to conscious thought the word pride. Conjure up the feeling in your body that is generated when you are proud of yourself. Take a deep breath and now recognize how your body feels. You should feel a little excited, maybe you’re smiling and maybe you even have an image of something you have done that you are proud of. Then focus on this emotion intently and make it as intense as you can. Stay here for a minute or so. Now with this feeling generated return to the written sentences that have to do with desired thoughts and feelings and attach the generated positive emotion to these sentences.
What this exercise is intended to do is to teach you that you have the power to generate a feeling in a moment and that you also have the ability to work out what you desire your mind to be attracted to. What you do next is up to you. You should feel led to take action and I believe that if you are focused you will know what is next. If you do not then reach our to a support or schedule to meet with a good therapist who can walk you further through this process.
You have a responsibility to take charge of your life and to lead a life that is satisfying. That is within your control if you chose to take control. Here’s another smaller example: rather than telling yourself that you don’t want to be stressed tell yourself that you want less stress. There is very little difference here other than that by telling yourself that you want less stress you are focusing on what you want rather than what you don’t want. Also remember that if you have not spent much time with yourself ie. if you don’t know yourself well, it may be tricky for you to acknowledge that you struggle taking responsibility for your life. You may still believe that you have little control over your thoughts, emotions and the outcomes in your life. That’s ok this will change, if you want it to. If you want to you will soon lead a life that is more fulfilling and of which you are focused on gratitude because that’s what you want for yourself.
MONDAY MANTRA: My mind is a goal seeking mechanism and I chose to be aligned with greatness.
COMMITMENT: I live a fulfilling life which I am grateful for.
*close your eyes, breathe in your nose (to the count of four) and then out your mouth (to the count of four) and say to yourself: Even though I am struggling I completely and totally accept myself. Repeat this three times.