Sometimes I find myself thinking that I can’t do something because there are already too many people doing it. Those people have been doing it for longer and they are good at it. I can’t compete with them. Self-doubt creeps in. Am I even good enough? Am I smart enough? Am I dedicated enough? Or sometimes I come up with even more specific reasons for why I can’t do it. I have a specialized degree, I need to focus on that field alone. I have small children, I need to make sure that I am reserving enough time for them. If I work too much/do this too will I be able to contribute to the household like I want to be able to?
These are all examples of toxic thoughts. They’re aren’t super crazy so my mind sometimes says “yeah, you’re probably right” or “that does make sense, good thing you thought of that”. Toxic thoughts aren’t always overtly negative sometimes they are rational in disguise. However, that thing that I want to pursue…it keeps creeping in and my optimism says to me “why do you talk to yourself like that?” or “those things are true but you can still do that”.
Real confidence is knowing that you believe in what you want and think regardless of what others want or think. It sounds something like “I’ll be fine if they don’t like me” -vs- “they will like me”. Both self-statements sound similar but the second one subconsciously relies on the validity of others. If we were truly honest with ourselves we would admit that a lot of what holds us back- why we think those toxic thoughts is because how dare we step out if line- how dare we do something other than what we are “supposed to be doing” and most of that judgment comes from others or judging ourselves based on the expectations of others. Its not their fault and its not our either. Blame is not required here. What is required is faith and the ability to recognize our thoughts and then to shift them to align with our true potential.
The question is- How do I become more confident?
- Try something new.
- If you don’t know how to do it teach yourself how to or have someone teach you. There is so much “free information” out that that no one really has any excuses for why they don’t know how to do something (aside from a learning or physical disability).
- Practice positive affirmations daily-
- I am learning and growing every day.
- I recognize my true value.
- I am grateful to be receiving.
- I am valuable.
- I am progressing.
- I make wise choices.
- I am forgiving of my faults.
- Implement a schedule that allows you ample time to focus on your goal. Stop telling yourself that you are too busy- we make time for what we want.
- Get a mentor, coach, therapist, person who inspires you.
- GUESS WHAT?!? There are so many people on Facebook and Instagram who are doing what you want to do and who are willing and readily offer advise as to how you can do it to. Research these people and follow those who you feel drawn to.-Block out jealously and judgment and allow only the ability to be inspired and to appreciate what they are doing- this opens you to receive the information and to be able to recognize how you can apply it. COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY- IT’S A REAL HATER AND YOU DON’T NEED THAT JUNK IN YOUR LIFE!
MONDAY MANTRA: I have the ability to shift my thoughts. I am the master of my thoughts. I am receiving all that i desire.
COMMITMENT: I RECOGNIZE MY DESIRES AND MY BLOCKS. I WILL MAKE A PLAN TO ACHIEVE GOODNESS-
*close your eyes, breathe in your nose (to the count of four) and then out your mouth (to the count of four) and say to yourself: Even though I am struggling I completely and totally accept myself. Repeat this three times.